Not Just Regular Dumb

Huh. Apparently I am really super dumb at making berets. I tried making the one out of Hip Knit Hats, and that was a bust, and then I tried the one out of One Skein Wonders. It's blocking (which is dumb because it is acrylic) and hopefully it will turn out okay. If not, I suppose I shall try the Gretel beret and it might actually work, but now I'm really wary of starting another beret pattern that will turn out crappy.

I've finished most of my Christmas knitting, except for something for Shari (which is fine; she still owes me for LAST Christmas) and something for Karlene (but I have bought her two presents already! Cheap ones! Not like the expensive ones she bought me and SHOWED me so that I would feel guilty and buy her MORE things!--just kidding; she's a sweetheart and would never manipulate me like that. She just couldn't wait until Christmas to show me what she'd gotten me! She's really bad at withholding surprises). Hopefully Monique will not look as dumb in the beret as I did. I think it will be okay because her head isn't a giant rectangle like mine is (thanks a LOT, grandpa!).

I scrutinized family pictures today to see who I could blame for my giant masculine jaw, and it is my paternal grandfather. I've been preoccuped with my jaw lately, because it's big and square and masculine, which totally detracts from the porcelain doll image I seem to be projecting otherwise (that and my mini-giant-European-stature; if I weren't so small, I'd be really freaking huge. People who know what I look like understand; the rest of you must just think I'm a complete nutcase).

You know, the only good thing to come of my physical appearance is that during those awkward geeky years when all of my friends were AzN wannabes, I TOTALLY didn't look like the Caucasian loser that I am inside. I am an extreme twinkie, because my insides are so white that they give off heat. LOSER heat. I lie, my insides are pink and bloody like everyone else's.

Wow, that totally went off on a tangent. I should write a novel, so that the other girls that are built with Asian engineering and European aesthetics will know that they are not alone (and that's just the tip of the cultural iceberg that I am! I could save LIVES).